So very, terribly true:

"The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable." ~ Lane Olinghouse


Also brilliant: It's Hard Being Two

Both via Swiss Miss

A little lesson in maternal math.


3 day mild cold for child =

2 crap-sleep nights of childcare
+ 2 days chasing/amusing an energetic-but-snot-filled child
+ 5-7 day mutant virus mom-cold (fever, sore throat, lung congestion, etc.)
+ 2 maternal ear infections (due to post-virus, bacterial takeover attempts)
+ 1 maternal eye infection (pink eye? ear union solidarity job action?)
+ 2.5 hours at a walk-in clinic waiting for 5 seconds of medical attention and a script for a gut-destroying antibiotic

Let's just pray the drugs work.

And, is it just me or do kids always want to be on you way more when they're sick? Sure it could be that the poor things simply want comfort but with all the recent evidence about parasite mind control, I'm starting to get suspicious that those clever viruses have just figured out that toddlers are the perfect vectors.

May god forgive me but the next time my kid is sick, I'm going to spray her with Lysol every time she comes near me wanting "a hug" (aka trying to cough in my mouth or wipe boogers on my shirt).

I came across these "Voodoo" dolls yesterday at a Dollarama.


They are either the best or the worst child's (?) toy I've ever seen.

Either way, I suspect that I will regret not buying them. Even if my kid would end up bringing them to her future therapy sessions labeled: "Exhibit A".

At a staff meeting the other day, we were informed that a recent examination of leave in the public service determined that there is a serious problem: 26% of sick days are Mondays.


Clear statistical evidence of a epidemic of slacking, hungover public servants abusing the system.

I wish I was joking.

Thankfully Dilbert has this one covered for me.

2.5 years is seriously kicking 2.0 years' butt.

• 2.5 displays awesome physical confidence and prowess. She has mastered putting on (and taking off) clothing and shoes/boots. She is into physical comedy complete with pratfalls. Neighbourhood playgrounds hold very few challenges anymore.
• We've been trying to encourage 2.5 to use more words and even whole sentences to make demands. As a result, upon request, 2.5 now states in a very formal fashion: "Whole sentence: Mom, I like a apple please" and "Whole sentence: Dad, I like a more cow milk please". It's like living with a small spelling bee champion.
• 2.5 has very important, self-initiated jobs. She pushes her chair back to the table after eating and puts the dog's post-meal bowl into the dishwasher. However, 2.5 is not very interested in putting her toys away or keeping her shirt on.
• 2.5 has special friends and LOVES big kids. 2.5 would like to discuss arrangements to play with them: "Come back? Come back soon play at my house?"
• Much to her guitar-loving father's (and grandfather's) particular delight, 2.5 can and will keep time, strum a ukulele and sing (in tune and mostly using the correct words) "Baa Baa Black Sheep" and "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". An album tentatively titled "2.5: The Greatest Hits" is in the works. Also on the album may be a re-interpreted cover of the Dixie Chick's (aka the Itsy Bitsy Chicks) song "Travelin' Soldier" (aka "Two Day Pâté").

I did have a good weekend.


Thanks for asking.

How was yours?

I'm going to get a little controvercial here (and risk embracing a terrible cliche) but you don't know how to make coffee.


You might think you do, but you are wrong.

Homemade coffee can taste better. And you can learn how to do it.

The hipsters of Portland are here to help: Stumptown Coffee Roasters Brewing Guide.

If they can help me, they can help anyone.

A couple of (totally unrelated to the above pic) linkies for some good escapism browsing:

reading my tea leaves
everday musings
the daily muse
Park Street
elephantine
halcyon yeah!

"Rocky was the first person to introduce himself to me when i arrived. a man with a broken tail and a broken heart - he lives across from the hospital under an abandoned house. the story is that Rocky was in love with the oldest woman in town and that when she went into hospital, he followed her there. he would run in when the doors opened and sneak into her room, spending hours on her lap. in the years since her death, Rocky has refused to move on, continuing to roam the halls, looking for Edna. her house has been torn down and the city has changed around him. yet, every morning he wanders out from under his porch, across the bustling street to sit on the bench outside the hospital where he waits for a scratch from a stranger and a chance to dart between the doors." ~ an email (with pic) from my brother

That kid needs to write way more.

I am profoundly, crushingly, deep green with envy about this.


And then I saw that there will be one in Toronto. Cue the website update stalking and penny saving.

The other day I was doing laundry when I had an epiphany.


Like many other people it seems, I tend to do my best thinking while engaged in mindless tasks like laundry or dishes. Or when I'm in the shower. Or on a run. Or, at the risk of over-sharing, on the toilet.

You know, the kind of thought-process where your mind starts wandering and making these amazing, brilliant connections. Bringing together all sorts of scattered bits of formerly useless information that you've collected and committed to memory over the years. Ultimately resulting in some sort of grand cohesive unifying vision of the fundamental workings and philosophical underpinnings of our entire universe.

No? Just me and Einstein then? Ok.

In this case, my aimless mental wanderings brought together: 1) some dubious and limited insights into human psychology, 2) a dusty undergraduate film studies tidbit related to the manner in which the themes of popular horror movies tend to change in a way that mirrors social fears and tensions; 3) my observation of the current popularity of all things zombie and vampire in cinema, books and television; 4) my job.

You're all dying to know where this is going right?

Are you lying down on a chaise?

The bottom line: we're all scared shitless about the impending social and economic upheaval that will (may?) occur as a result of the Baby Boomer generation reaching retirement age.

Yup, zombies (i.e., the walking, cannibalistic, infectious dead) and vampires (i.e., the powerful, insatiable, bloodsucking undead) are the artistic, pop-cultural manifestations of our shared societal subconscious feelings about seniors dominating the population pyramid.

Am I right or am I right? Give it some time to sink in.



You're welcome.

I am sorry if this makes True Blood significantly less sexy and enjoyable for anyone else. You just can't unthink these sorts of things.