It may have been a mistake to go outside at lunch.

This article/book excerpt just blew my mind (in the wonderful way that something that rings true but you've never thought of does):


"When Europeans moved west, they were preceded by two waves: one of disease, the other of ecological disturbance. The former crested with fearsome rapidity; the latter sometimes took more than a century to quiet down. Far from destroying pristine wilderness, European settlers bloodily created it. By 1800 the hemisphere was chockablock with new wilderness. If "forest primeval" means a woodland unsullied by the human presence, William Denevan has written, there was much more of it in the late eighteenth century than in the early sixteenth." ~ Charles C. Mann "1491"

I'm going to have to read the whole book I think.

via Kottke.

These "little things" are great.


I would add:

• Waking up to sunshine feeling perfectly rested
• Seeing your kid wake up with a smile and massive bedhead
• The first shower after a long camping trip
• Watching a thunderstorm from under a patio
• The sounds of rain on a metal roof
• The first sip of a cold beer on a hot day
• The first bite into a good hamburger
• Time left on a parking meter
• Three songs you love in a row on the radio
• A good book and a hot mug of sweet milky tea on a rainy morning

Via 16 house.

Every year the damned lilacs make a liar out of me.


I always say that I hate cut flowers. Apparently what I really mean is that I hate paying for cut flowers. Especially ones that don't smell like anything.

These lilacs smell pretty and grow (for free!) right outside my house. Sold.

"Hollywood hates labor, and hates shows about labor worse than any other thing. And that’s why you won’t be seeing another Roseanne anytime soon. Instead, all over the tube, you will find enterprising, overmedicated, painted-up, capitalist whores claiming to be housewives. But I’m not bitter.

Nothing real or truthful makes its way to TV unless you are smart and know how to sneak it in, and I would tell you how I did it, but then I would have to kill you. Based on Two and a Half Men’s success, it seems viewers now prefer their comedy dumb and sexist. Charlie Sheen was the world’s most famous john, and a sitcom was written around him. That just says it all."

~ Roseanne

From a fascinating and often hilarious article in NY Magazine (via Kottke)

We basically spent the weekend hanging out in a hipster's wet dream.


Or a hipster's vision of heaven if you think the Rapture did happen and it's just that no one (you know*) noticed.

Animal skulls, teepees, carved wooden tables, Streamline trailers, Freemason's symbols, arguments between pro-grain vegetarians and anti-grain paleos put aside over a mutual interest in homemade booze, etc.

The only thing missing was a fixie.

It was pretty awesome.


*I'll note that as of yesterday, my grandmother is still here so apparently a zealous belief in our Dear and Fluffy Lord and Saviour does not guaranteed one a first (or second, or third) day pass to jump the judgement line.

Finding this random tea has made me very happy today.

Did you know that the world ends on Saturday?


Or begins to end. Or something like that. It's all very confusing.

Apparently God works for the federal government and it takes 6 months to process (aka judge) everyone.

I feel this is going to be just like when the US announced we all needed passports to enter it's hallowed lands and visit Target. It's the end of the world and we'll all be stuck waiting in endless lines to be judged.

I'm also more than a little pissed off that it's happening at the start of a long weekend. How am I supposed to enjoy sleeping in on Monday morning with all the hell-fire and brimstone falling down everywhere?

On the other hand, I am very excited to be inviting myself to join this group: What Did You Do For The Rapture? .

Does anyone have any exciting plans? Any ideas for Rapture-themed cocktails?

I decided to play decorator for a friend who's reno-ing his downtown condo.


And by "play decorator" I clearly mean: "stick my opinion where it's not wanted and boss him around".

So I'm over here a lot these days: Type A Design. Posting pictures and trying to convince him that I know what I'm talking about.

Reading this beautiful post the other day got me thinking about smells and memories.


And the primal nature of the emotions they evoke.

Until I moved away from the West Coast, I don't think I ever really noticed the smells. Now, the minute I step off a plane after a long absence, the first thing I notice is the smell. The air is clean and wet. Different from the sharp ozone burn that comes after a lightening storm but similar too. I always feel as though my nose wakes up after a long sleep.

Maybe that's why I miss it so much sometimes. Ontario doesn't smell right.

I grew up on a mountain, in a rain forest, on an island.

My childhood play was perfumed by crushed moss and wild onion, spicy and sharp. The acrid rot of blooming skunk cabbage. The iron tang of water drunk fresh from small cold creeks. The sulphur salt of seaweed on the beach.

When he was little, my brother once stated that my parent's king-sized bed smelt of baby powder and farts. The smell of safety from nightmares.

My biological father lived in a log cabin, deep in the forest by a river. The throat-tickling smoke of a wood burning stove, the bite of gingersnap cookies, the stickysweet of red licorice, the distinctly masculine and paternal musk of a lit tobacco pipe. These are my memories of him.

Memories of my adoptive father are perfumed with the burnt residue of university cafeteria coffee. The mild mildew that clings to old books and paper. A hint of sweat from freshly ironed cotton dress shirts and handkerchiefs.

The cologne that my first two boyfriends wore. Calvin Klein Obsession. Teen hormones in a bottle.

My daughter's breath often smells of strawberries and warm milk.

I'm going to turn this blog into a virtual refrigerator.


The kid somehow: 1) drew this, 2) saved it so that appeared in my photos, 3) on Mother's Day.

Obviously I'm taking this as a sign of her budding artistic/technological genius and that, despite the sh*tshow she put on last night at bedtime, she loves her Mama.

I just hope I have it the right way up.

And, moving on to things that really matter: won't somebody please think of the children?


The Good Enough Mother: "The most incandescent memories of my childhood are of making my mother laugh. My kids did the same for me. A good time is what they remember long after toddler programs and art projects are over. The rest is just scheduling."
~ Anna Quindlen (via Goodbye, Small Heart)

A Mother's Prayer: "And should she choose to be a mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back."
~ Tina Fey (via Peonies and Polaroids)

My Darlings: "The rest of the afternoon went as expected. Ian and I assembled the shelves with children hanging off us. The birdsong wafting in from outside was punctuated by adult cries of NO! PUT THAT DOWN! and GO AWAY! It only encouraged them.

Eventually, it was done, and the children vanished. They were playing beautifully together in the garden, making happy, delighted chirps of childish wonder and glee, with no interest whatsoever in us or our fully assembled shelves and plastered wall.

I made restorative cups of tea. Minutes went by. Ian made dinner for the children, and called them in from the garden.

They ignored him.

Fuckers."
~ Antonia Cornwell

An Open Letter to the Complete Piece of Shit Who Stole My Bike Yesterday:


Thanks for the life lesson. Asshole.

Ok, I'll admit that my first reaction upon discovering that my locked bike had been stolen from the bike racks during daylight, in plain view of my entire office building, at least 20 smokers and multiple "security" personnel, was not to thank you. After all, it was only my second day taking my bike to work and, although the weather has been garbage and I'd just about drowned riding, I was really enjoying the extra 30 minutes of morning sleep and snuggles with my family that biking to work allowed me.

As an aside: by pure happy coincidence, yesterday was also the third day of Ottawa's "Bike to Work Month", which in hindsight may actually serve mainly as your peak business period rather than a month to encourage people to ditch their car commutes. You must really love it when all the pathetic, chump noobies on their pristine, rarely-used bikes take the initiative to ride to work and naively lock-up their bikes with only a single heavy rubberized cable lock. It must be just like Christmas for you. I can almost imagine the expression of pure joy on your face when May roles around each year. Like taking candy from babies.

But enough about that.

I also do confess that I did dwell for a few moments on the sad irony of the fact that as a result of the insane gas prices and our partially self-induced, child-raising vow of poverty, almost all of the plans we've been making for this summer were based upon riding our bikes around town. That, and the related fact that I also can't afford to replace my bike, let alone purchase the multiple locks that are apparently required to stake a claim of ownership to even the most mediocre bike in this town.

And, as a consequence of this line of thinking, perhaps may have had several pleasing thoughts about finding and dismembering or choking you with my own bare hands. In a moment of extreme weakness I was even (somewhat) shocked to find myself hoping that you'd use the (at best) $100 you'll get from selling my bike to buy smack from a shady dealer who cuts his product with battery acid and bleach so that you die with the needle still in your arm.

But, I aim to be a more civilized and rational human being than that so I'm attempting to move on from those petty, base emotional reactions and unseemly obsession with mere material objects. I've chosen to step back and see if there's something meaningful that I can learn from this experience you've created for me.

And so, I thank you. Dear, Anonymous Douchebag Bike Thief.

Thank you for showing me that the path to true minimalism and zen-like freedom from emotional attachments to consumer goods may be rocky and painful. And involve someone stealing your shit.

Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to ponder what aspect/nuance about being the victim of this particular crime bothers me far more then when my husband and child were car-jacked at knife point. Perhaps it's because the car-jacking asshole didn't hurt my family, steal/damage anything of value to us and actually had the class to apologize when he realize a child was in the car. Still, it's something of an emotional and philosophical quandary that I'll enjoy exploring further during my once-again long walking commutes to work.

Thank you for waiting to steal my bike until just after my husband had a chance to spend hours learning about, and then fixing, the derailer so that the gears would change properly for the first time since I bought the bike. Perhaps, in the distant future when I can afford to buy another bike, he will be able to put those new skills to good use once again.

In fact, as a sign of my gratitude for the wisdom I will gain from this experience, I sincerely hope you were able to take the time to appreciate the pure aesthetics of how smoothly the gears transitioned as you rode my bike away. As a further gift to you, I hope you also enjoyed the brand new tire tube that my husband put in this weekend after I had a flat. Not to mention the perfectly inflated tires, freshly oiled chain and recently cleaned frame.

These are my hopes and wishes for you. Fuckwad.

I'd like to close with some wise words from someone far funnier than I: Bruce McCullough "An Open Letter to the Guy Who Stole My Bike Wheel" (and as a bonus for the spectators: "An Open Letter to the People Who Watched the Guy Steal My Bike Wheel").

Forever In Your Debt,

Sid

A glimpse inside my brain (aka some highlights from stuff I've enjoyed reading on the interwebs lately):


"Ok, so you’ve adjusted to the fact that most people in the world are barely aware of your existence, and you’re also conscious of the fact that those who don’t like you are in the obscenely small minority and don’t actually matter. Awesome. Next you need to realize that the people who do care about you, and no one else, are those you need to focus on." ~ In Over Your Head, "The Complete Guide to Not Giving a Fuck"

"3 unbeatable tips for coping with food allergies + divine gluten-free chocolate muffins." ~ Stonesoup

"The food pyramid, with eight servings of grain a day? I can go through the science with you, but the fact is that grains are very toxic to humans. They'll keep you alive, but they're one of the worst things to eat that isn't going to kill you immediately. I was skeptical at first, but the more and more I looked at the science and tested it on myself, I realized they were f***ing right. The whole concept behind paleo eating is as humans we evolve in a certain ecological niche, and our bodies are to do certain things and eat certain foods. The world that we live in today is very, very dissimilar that we've evolved to occupy. They're not saying we should go live in f***ing caves and not have antibiotics anymore, but to remove the things that are bad for you and substitute them with things that are good for you." ~ Tucker Max

"24 Quick Actions You Can Do Today That Can Change Your Financial Life Forever." ~ Man Vs Debt

"The notion of "food groups" is utterly arbitrary. It's all just various forms of plant and animal foods...and processed derivatives. What they're not interested in recognizing is that Paleo cuts out the processed "food group." The entire fucking disaster of it." ~ Free the Animal

"There’s no one way to practice minimalism — you can do it living out of an RV, backpacking around the world, living in a tiny house, living on a large farm, living anywhere. For me, it means enjoying a simple life with my wife and kids, learning to be content and not needing to buy things all the time, living with fewer possessions but more time to do the things I love, living with space in my life." ~ mnmlist: city vs. country minimalism

"Here are some questions that we -and our politicians -should be asking. Why do we put so much value on university education, when for many young people a career in the skilled trades is clearly more fulfilling and rewarding? Is there a good return on investment for the money we spend on education? Why must people have access to university education in their own communities -what's wrong with studying in another part of the province or of the country? Why should upper-middle-class kids, whose career prospects improve with an education, and whose families can afford higher fees, be subsidized by the taxes of the working poor? When will the billions spent on academic research start producing sustained economic benefits? Does every student willing to enroll deserve a spot in a university or college?" ~ Bill Morrison, National Post


Some really good questions are highlighted in this opinion piece. And, for me, it raises even more.

I often wonder what it means for our society/country that an undergraduate degree has become the new high school diploma.

The main argument seems to always be that in our current "information age", post-secondary education is necessary to allow us to "keep up" with ever-changing technology and an increasingly complex world, but I somehow really doubt the truth of this assertion.

At the risk of sounding old before my time, it feels to me like universities have become businesses rather than places of learning. Churning out "educated" adults with limited life- or job-skills. Prolonging childhood and financial dependence for degrees of ever-declining market value. In my job, I've seen far too many PhDs competing for poorly-paid, entry-level positions that only 20 years ago would have gone to someone with a high school diploma and some work experience. And they would have been well-qualified. Perhaps even more so than the people with the PhDs are now.

Also, isn't the whole point of a decent (tax-funded) public education system to provide someone with sufficient education to be able to navigate a successful life? Shouldn't 12-13 years be enough time to teach a child the basic essential mathematical, reading, writing, reasoning and critical-thinking skills? In fact, there should be extra time left to offer classes in new and relevant technologies AND old and essential/useful ones like cooking, financial management, wood working, car repair, etc. To me, the arguments in favour of the necessity of university do nothing more than make it obvious that the public education system has become more about warehousing children rather than teaching them the basic skills required for life.

Lately, my personal sense of resentment for what I experienced as a result of not questioning the necessity and value of post-secondary education is beginning to compete with my fear of what this "education" system will do to my child. Nothing would sadden me more than to have her feel as embittered as I do at times. Even the knowledge that I had a privileged opportunity to learn amazing and interesting things is tainted by the long-term financial burden that came along with that learning. And the sense that I could have been very happy (and financially freer) had I taken another life path.

Though I'm still not sure how exactly I will address/approach this issue as a parent, if I could go back and play life coach to my 17-year-old self, my message would be something like this:

• Take a break (at least a year, or better yet, more) from the type of education that involves sitting in chairs indoors all day, memorizing things for short periods of time and regurgitating it on demand for arbitrary grades. Universities will always be there; your youth and the complete freedom it provides will not.
• Work at jobs where people will teach you interesting, valuable skills while they pay you. Learn to grow food. Learn to run a business. Learn to fix stuff and make things.
• Use your body and mind in ways that you did not while in school. Do physical labour. Climb mountains. Sail ships. Take photographs. Make art.
• Live in many different places. Not travel. Live. Learn to speak other languages.
• After you've done all this, if you still feel that there are things you want to learn about that you cannot find someone to teach you for free, go to university. Take courses on subjects that challenge and fascinate you. Declare your major at the last possible moment. Continue to take classes that don't count towards a degree if they interest you.
• Do not worry about a choosing a career. Take your time. Rest-assured that the skills you've gained outside of a classroom will be far more useful and valuable for getting a job you enjoy than any of the information you are paying to learn.

We spent all glorious weekend outside sucking up the sun like sponges.


In my case, a white, pasty, slightly sunburned sponge but it was beautiful!

If there's one good thing that comes from the insanely high gas prices, it's our decision to really focus on exploring the area closer to where we live. We've usually just defaulted to heading to Gatineau Park to hike so we haven't spent any time hiking in the Greenbelt. Yesterday we hit a couple of the trails around Mer Bleue. Though there were some seriously muddy patches as a result of the seemingly never-ending rain this last month, it was basically a nice, 7K-ish walk through the woods.

There were even a few signs that Spring may actually be here: flowers were blooming; birds were singing, blue beetles were having lots of sex; a couple (Emil + Jean-Marc = awesome) had carved a sign of their love and devotion into a tree; etc.

I also wore my Vibrams and had a blast tromping right through the mud like a little kid since they're so easy to wash.

Perfect.