This post is going to launch me into blogging fame and fortune.
Because, who doesn't love even a mediocre before-and-after post?
I know I'm excited since I need a good reminder of how much I've actually accomplished since the fucking to-do list never seems to get any shorter. Home ownership: as fast as you fix things, more shit falls apart. Good times. But enough of my bitterness.
Are you ready for the big reveal?
This was the front door when I bought the place almost 5 years ago:
And this is the front door now:
I know you can almost make out my address. Please refrain from stalking me. I have an aged 30 pound dog and a perpetually-teething toddler I can throw at you in self-defense.
Ok. Ready for more Moderate Ghetto Home Makeover (TM) excitement? Let's move on to the backyard.
This was my backyard 5 years ago:
Let your eyes feast on that beauty for a bit. Linger on the shipping pallet deck, the bounty of natural dust/dirt and the toothpick/particle board melange of a "fence". I feel that the original landscaper had been inspired heavily by the Sydney Tar Ponds. Exquisite.
And, this is the back yard in it's much-less-likely-to-give-you-cancer-but-not-quite-done-yet state (we still need to: paint, get a new back door, finish the deck on the side, grow vines up the lattice/over the pergola, put in a paver path, fix the dead spots on the lawn where the dog insists on peeing each and every fucking time she goes out even if she's been walked 5 minutes before and, install a hammock):
And yes, the toddler gnawing on her fist and screaming at the cameraperson is now an integral part of the landscaping and will be included with the household appliances when we eventually sell. I took real estate law, once something becomes a "fixture" it legally comes with the house. Suckers.